another one,.

just another short one.

ok, just a few days ago, in the beginning of the week, i had a dream.
err..its a really confusing one, and i dont really remember clearly what happened. (i mean who does remember their dreams!!)

basically, i THINK i was supposed to be commiting suicide with a grenade gas bomb. i think, which doesnt really makes sense. so the bomb is pulled, i breathe in the gas and suddenly feel faintish and my friend runs to my side and my last words were "i love........" (at this moment i actually thought of some guy's name, and then suddenly i thought of GOD, all the htings he has done for me and how he died for me) and i ended up saying "............GOD"

after a few minutes maybe hours, i woke up. yea, in the dream not real life. so i did not die. then there were ppl around talking and i was like thinking why the gas bomb was not effective. then things started to happen, those i cant remember.thats when i started crying. ooh and i remember saying " why arent i dying? its supposed to work". and my friend says" sshhh.. dont cry. you're supposed to be enjoying it (dying)". and i was crying. then ppl continue talking and i just remember myself continuing crying and crying in the dream and after a while someone said something, and i said "i have god".

and the i woke up (yea, in real life) and i was CRYING! yea. it was like 7 something in the morning. and then these words just came to me.

"when you feel like there's nothing else in this world for you, always remember "i have god"
when everything is going wrong, remember that he is always there for you"

and i was crying softly...and then i went back to sleep.
so...yeah..that sums it up. haha.
i was just wondering was that me or was that god.?

ok, so there's this friend of mine who said she watched cartoons to see how THEY solve their problems in daily life. that struck me as incredibly funny.

recently, i have been head over heels for this one guy, and he sorta became my WORLS, my EVERYTHING.
then that one full week of rebels for christ practices, made me realise that that guy isnt my everything. GOD is.

ok, so it kinda changed me. i turned my perspective around and realised that i have been abandoning god this past 6 months. yea, i go to church and all that, but my world was built around that guy. which isnt right. so i just asked god to take the wheel from my hands. let him handle all these things coz i noe god ahs my life planned out for me, and i need not worry about being a bacholerette in future.

anyways, then this dream came along and it struck me even harder that god really has been there for me all along, whenver i felt like no one lse was, i just did not trust god to answer me, not enough for me to turn to him for help.

whoever's thats reading this,

when you feel like there's nothing on this world for you, always remember "i have GOD".when everything is going wrong always remember that he will always be there for you, waiting for you to turn to him. just call out to him and he'll see you through all your problems. talk to god. seek him and you'll realise that he IS the EVERYTHING ppl keep talking about. things can satisfy us, but they cant COMPLETE us. GOD can.

:)

lights out